Problematic Comeback?

The Quip Pig says regarding this LA Times article's Title (Michael Jackson's Problematic Comeback)
"No Duh! I would consider death problematic in making a comeback. Only one Person done it so far."

Oh the Indignity

The Mourning Quip Pig has made his reappearance due to the the loss of manhood among the children of his familial cousin 'Agatha'. It is reported that not wanting to be implicated in this horrid affair the parent owner turned the task over to her children. If you dare you can watch the whole sordid affair here as it unfolds.
Perhaps I shall petition for Stanwood to institute a ban similar to that called for in San Francisco which sought to ban circumcision although I hear that a judge is going to remove it from their ballot. But nonetheless I shall petition Stanwood to ban the dastardly deed on the Stetson property.
Until then the Quip Pig shall weep, my heart shall weep, for the lost boarhood of the Agatha piglets.

Take Your Dearly Departed Hunting With You

The Quip Pig says, "Miss that dearly departed special person who used to hunt with you? Miss them no more just contact Holy Smoke LLC.

And let them be part of every shot you take."

Disclosure Statement: Dearly departed must have been cremated.

Police Shoot Alligator

The Quip Pig says, "The Travelocity Gnome better watch his back"
Police Shoot Lawn Ornament Gator

Stupid is as Stupid Does: CEO of Lifelock

The Quip Pig says, "What do you expect when you put your social security number out there for everyone to see?"

Lifelock CEO Todd Daviss' Identiy swiped 13 times in 3 years

Weighing Weather Alerts

The Quip Pig says, "Which would you consider more of a threat...high pollen levels or a tornado watch? Or perhaps they would rate about the same?" Click on the link and see what I mean. Weather Alerts 

Illegals dressed as Marines

The Quip Pig says "I just said one of you, use the Perez name tag, not all of you!"

Illegal Immigrants Apprehended Wearing Marine Uniforms

Belly Flop High Dive Champion

The Quip Pig says, "What kind of splash will Professor Splash make when he maxes out?"

Professor Splash Sets World Record 

Space Monkeys Are Expensive

The Quip Pig says "Iranians must not be able to afford live monkeys for their space missions."

Iranians send Monkey Doll into Space

Are slaves paid $10,720,000?

The Quip Pig says, "If this is slavery, count me in."

Football players are slaves? 

$19,000 for Preschool?

The Quip Pig says, "Paying $19,000 for her child's preschool? And now she's suing the school for ruining her daughter's chance to get into an Ivy league school?

Someone should sue the mom!"

Mom sues preschool for cheating daughter out of Ivy League

Startled Man Finds Bullet

The Quip Pig says, "It's amazing it didn't explode. Such bravery should be rewarded."

.22 Bullet found in Street

Intruder Calls 911 on Homeowner?

The Quip Pig says (in best Clint Eastwood voice), "You've got to ask yourself one question: 

'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk?”

Intruder calls 911, afraid homeowner may have a gun 

Going Up?

The Quip Pig says "Saudis Mobilize Thousands of Troops to Quell Growing Revolt...I think the price of gas is going to go up some more."

Jesse's Cafe' Americain - More Revolution

What's in your hands?

The Quip Pig Says "Going grocery shopping this weekend? Interested in a pair of gloves?"

Fecal Matter Found on 72% of Grocery Carts

Comments are the Best

The Quip Pig says "Gotta love the comments section of the newspaper. Consider these comments written about an article about a A California womans who survives a ride on the hood of her minivan.

"Minivan's can go 100 MPH?" - Stroh

"He should also be ticketed for having a unsecured load." - user0one

"I'm guessing she won't do that again." - Sgt Hartman

The Quip Pig Mourns In Private

The Quip Pig Mourns the loss of a relative...Alas poor Bacon. 

They mourn the monetary cost. 

While it cost you everything.

What it Cost Bacon

Epic Ski Fail

The Quip Pig says, "Have you ever seen those really awesome extreme downhill skiers, doing their thing down really steep and dangerous look mountains? Well they screw up also. Watch.

Low Flow = High Smell

The Quip Pig says "San Fransisco’s push for low-flush toilets has created a serious problem. There is not enough water flowing through the system, and so the back up has created a gigantic, city-wide stink. This can be fixed but only by pouring massive, unthinkable amounts of bleach into the sewer system, a prospect that has many people very alarmed. It’s the old story: intervention begets intervention. Perhaps we should think a bit less about “saving” water and start thinking about saving civilization."

- Mises Economic Blog

Low Flow Toilets Cause a Stink in SF

Combat Priorities

The Quip Pig says, "Which is more important in a war zone, getting the skinny on up to date techniques to defeat the enemy, or gay sensitivity training?" 

Which do you think the Obama Pentagon thinks is more important?"

Combat troops to get gay sensitivity training!