Problematic Comeback?

The Quip Pig says regarding this LA Times article's Title (Michael Jackson's Problematic Comeback)
"No Duh! I would consider death problematic in making a comeback. Only one Person done it so far."

Oh the Indignity

The Mourning Quip Pig has made his reappearance due to the the loss of manhood among the children of his familial cousin 'Agatha'. It is reported that not wanting to be implicated in this horrid affair the parent owner turned the task over to her children. If you dare you can watch the whole sordid affair here as it unfolds.
Perhaps I shall petition for Stanwood to institute a ban similar to that called for in San Francisco which sought to ban circumcision although I hear that a judge is going to remove it from their ballot. But nonetheless I shall petition Stanwood to ban the dastardly deed on the Stetson property.
Until then the Quip Pig shall weep, my heart shall weep, for the lost boarhood of the Agatha piglets.

Take Your Dearly Departed Hunting With You

The Quip Pig says, "Miss that dearly departed special person who used to hunt with you? Miss them no more just contact Holy Smoke LLC.

And let them be part of every shot you take."

Disclosure Statement: Dearly departed must have been cremated.

Police Shoot Alligator

The Quip Pig says, "The Travelocity Gnome better watch his back"
Police Shoot Lawn Ornament Gator

Stupid is as Stupid Does: CEO of Lifelock

The Quip Pig says, "What do you expect when you put your social security number out there for everyone to see?"

Lifelock CEO Todd Daviss' Identiy swiped 13 times in 3 years

Weighing Weather Alerts

The Quip Pig says, "Which would you consider more of a threat...high pollen levels or a tornado watch? Or perhaps they would rate about the same?" Click on the link and see what I mean. Weather Alerts 

Illegals dressed as Marines

The Quip Pig says "I just said one of you, use the Perez name tag, not all of you!"

Illegal Immigrants Apprehended Wearing Marine Uniforms

Belly Flop High Dive Champion

The Quip Pig says, "What kind of splash will Professor Splash make when he maxes out?"

Professor Splash Sets World Record 

Space Monkeys Are Expensive

The Quip Pig says "Iranians must not be able to afford live monkeys for their space missions."

Iranians send Monkey Doll into Space

Are slaves paid $10,720,000?

The Quip Pig says, "If this is slavery, count me in."

Football players are slaves? 

$19,000 for Preschool?

The Quip Pig says, "Paying $19,000 for her child's preschool? And now she's suing the school for ruining her daughter's chance to get into an Ivy league school?

Someone should sue the mom!"

Mom sues preschool for cheating daughter out of Ivy League

Startled Man Finds Bullet

The Quip Pig says, "It's amazing it didn't explode. Such bravery should be rewarded."

.22 Bullet found in Street

Intruder Calls 911 on Homeowner?

The Quip Pig says (in best Clint Eastwood voice), "You've got to ask yourself one question: 

'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk?”

Intruder calls 911, afraid homeowner may have a gun 

Going Up?

The Quip Pig says "Saudis Mobilize Thousands of Troops to Quell Growing Revolt...I think the price of gas is going to go up some more."

Jesse's Cafe' Americain - More Revolution

What's in your hands?

The Quip Pig Says "Going grocery shopping this weekend? Interested in a pair of gloves?"

Fecal Matter Found on 72% of Grocery Carts

Comments are the Best

The Quip Pig says "Gotta love the comments section of the newspaper. Consider these comments written about an article about a A California womans who survives a ride on the hood of her minivan.

"Minivan's can go 100 MPH?" - Stroh

"He should also be ticketed for having a unsecured load." - user0one

"I'm guessing she won't do that again." - Sgt Hartman

The Quip Pig Mourns In Private

The Quip Pig Mourns the loss of a relative...Alas poor Bacon. 

They mourn the monetary cost. 

While it cost you everything.

What it Cost Bacon

Epic Ski Fail

The Quip Pig says, "Have you ever seen those really awesome extreme downhill skiers, doing their thing down really steep and dangerous look mountains? Well they screw up also. Watch.

Low Flow = High Smell

The Quip Pig says "San Fransisco’s push for low-flush toilets has created a serious problem. There is not enough water flowing through the system, and so the back up has created a gigantic, city-wide stink. This can be fixed but only by pouring massive, unthinkable amounts of bleach into the sewer system, a prospect that has many people very alarmed. It’s the old story: intervention begets intervention. Perhaps we should think a bit less about “saving” water and start thinking about saving civilization."

- Mises Economic Blog

Low Flow Toilets Cause a Stink in SF

Combat Priorities

The Quip Pig says, "Which is more important in a war zone, getting the skinny on up to date techniques to defeat the enemy, or gay sensitivity training?" 

Which do you think the Obama Pentagon thinks is more important?"

Combat troops to get gay sensitivity training!

Raising the Bar on Shoplifting

The Quip Pig says, "So a shop lifter attempted to steal a chain saw by putting it down his trouser between his legs. Good thing no one tried to raise the bar on him."

Is That A Chainsaw In Your Pants?

Kill or Cut?

The Quip Pig says, 
"If San Francisco gets its way you won't be able to circumcise a baby after he's born but you would be able to kill him before he's born."

- Sense of Events Blog

Final Say on Reincarnation

The Quip Pig says "Last week the officially atheist Chinese government’s State Administration for Religious Affairs disclosed plans to enact a new law forbidding the 75-year-old Buddhist deity to be reborn anywhere but on Chinese-controlled soil, and giving final say to Chinese authorities when the time comes to identify his 15th incarnation."

Politics of Reincarnation 

"I just can't add anything to what they have said."

Bank of Satan

The Quip Pig says "I followed this link that reddit provided to see where it led,

www.bankofsatan.com

I was sure it was going to pop up Chase bank."

Tim Geithner - The Man In Charge of the U.S. Treasury

The Quip Pig says "Nothing else needs to be said. Just watch the video. Remember that Tim Geithner is in charge of the U.S. Treasury. Also remember that during his confirmation hearing to become U.S. Treasurer, he stated that he failed to pay his taxes one year, because he couldn't figure out how to run his Turbo Tax software."

Process Error Leads to Kidney Transplant Error

The Quip Pig says, "So a kidney was transplanted into the wrong patient at USC. How did it happen? It was a process error according to the Hospital. 

Don't you hate that when it happens?"

Wrong Patient Gets Kidney

Latching on to the Governement Teat

The Quip Pig says, "Rather than be so quick to step up to the government teat to slurp up federal dollars we should look at why Florida turned it down...Nah, Queen Christine is trying to latch on."

More Tax Dollars Please - We want to go into Debt!

Why Florida Governor is Rejecting Federal Dollars! 

How to Measure Inflation While Not Eating

The Quip Pig says "I share the growing concern among the Fed's critics that the official measures of consumer price inflation may be understating actual inflation and that excluding food and energy from these measures is OK as long as you don't eat or drive." 

- economist Ed Yardeni, president of Yardeni Research

See full article from DailyFinance: http://srph.it/hVHkw8

Hannah Montana's Fault?

The Quip Pig says "So according to  Hollywoodreporter.com, Billy Ray Cyrus believes that playing Hannah Montana for Disney destroyed his family. Where did he make this revelation? To GQ magazine...I think Billy Ray Cyrus' family was destroyed before Disney got involved."

No Different?

The Quip Pig says "In court, the judge told Lindsay Lohan that she is “no different from anyone else.” 

How does that make us feel?"

- Jay Leno

Religion of Peace

The Quip Pig says "It must be hard for the religion of peace to be peaceful when other religions force it to be violent."

Muslim Mob Burns Christian Churches 

Light Travels Faster Than Sound

The Quip Pig says,"Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

- geezerguy, Sequim, Wa commenting in the Seattle Times regarding this article. Bar Patrons and Fireball

I Can Be Your Friend

The Quip Pig says "So Homeland security wants to friend us? Don't they have the relationship mixed up? Especially since they approached us first by feeling us up, now they want to be friends?"

Pajamasmedia on DHS Friend Request 

Wash. State Senators Hate Citizen Initiatives

The Quip Pig says, "Going after the initiative process out of distaste for Eyman is like dismantling the jury system because you didn't like the O.J. Simpson verdict. "-TNT Editorial

Democrat Bill to Limit Initiatives

The meaning of Consensus

The Quip Pig says “A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually. ”

- Abba Eban

Shocking Isn't It

The Quip Pig says "We used to call this shock therapy. What's next a new name for lobotomies?" Thinking Cap Zaps Brain!

Status of Success in China

The Quip Pig says that According to the LA Times, Men represent 45% of the luxury handbags sold in China. And this is the nation that is supposed to surpass the United States? What would Gordon Gekko say?

More on the National Anthem

The Quip Pig says "Christina Aguilera did not quite sing all the national anthem...but the lapse was hardly surprising in today’s era where millions no longer lead off their school mornings, assemblies, and meetings with the pledge of allegiance or the singing of the “Star Spangled Banner.” The better question in these times is how in the world did Ms. Aguilera get most of her lines right?" - VDH

How do you cause happiness?

The Quip Pig says “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” 

- Oscar Wilde

New App Website

The Quip Pig says "I'm thinking of a new app. It will aggregate all the posts that inform where people are at any given time and sell subscriptions to burglars."

Government to Refund Toyota?

The Quip Pig says "So now that the government has absolved Toyota of any fault regarding unintended acceleration they're going to refund the $40+ mil in fines they made them pay right?....Government: No Electronic Fault in Toyota's

Patronizing

The Quip Pig Says "My friends tell me I'm Patronizing...(that's when you talk down to someone in a condescending way, as if they're stupid)."
- nmezib on reddit

Stupid Job Interview Questions

SuperBowl National Anthem

The Quip Pig wonders what Christina Aguilera was thinking last night?

Sarcasm vs. Tact

The Quip Pig says "Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic." - Anon

Wait for it...

This blog is just being developed. When it is up and running it will contain sarcastic, or snarky remarks, comments, videos, or graphics which I think are noteworthy of mention by the "Quip Pig." This will be done without discrimination regarding race, color, creed, religion, politics, etc., etc., etc. This blog will be updated only when I come across such items that I deem worthy of posting. Which should be fairly often due to the nature of the internet.